by Rick Ackerman
Yellen is scheduled to speak at 10:00 a.m., and heaven help us if she should actually say something. The markets and those who report on them typically go into conniptions interpreting the Fed chairwoman’s gobbledygook. But even if she were to step up to the rostrum and read a passage aloud from The Great Gatsby for 20 minutes, the pundits would undoubtedly trip over themselves trying to explain the economic significance of Gatsby’s disdain for Dominican cigars. In reality, the most newsworthy sentence Yellen could utter would be this one: “Effective today, the Open Market Committee has voted to disband, never to be heard from again.” Now that would news! Very good news.