Still Report #775 – How To Feel Safe in America Again

from Bill Still

To become Partner #616:, then Click “Subscribe”.

A friend of mine sent me the following prescription on how to feel safe in America once again.
I took down my Rebel flag (which you can’t buy on ebay anymore) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.
I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-assNeighborhood Watch.
I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.
Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buyon ebay) and ran it up the flag pole
Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security,Secret Service and other government agencies are all watching my house 24/7. I’veNEVER felt safer and I’m saving $69.95 a month that ADT usedto charge me.
Plus, I bought burkas for my family when we shop or travel.Everyone moves out of the way and security can’t pat us down.
Hot Damn — Safe at last — Ain’t America great or what?
I’m still reporting from Washington. Good day.